Hello friends. I've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately and I could use any positive thoughts you could send my way.
On Thursday a friend of mine called and told me she lost her sweet baby twins at 20 weeks gestation. The enormity of that loss is something I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Both her and her husband are wonderful people, the kind that you only want good things for, and this simply does not seem fair. My heart aches for them.
On Monday Brady came home and told me a friend of his from work had passed away. He had been on a leave of absence for mono, and died in his home. He was in his 30's. Again I find myself asking, how is that fair? It simply does not make sense to me.
I feel like nothing is in my control, and everywhere I turn there is heartbreak and tragedy. So many people are hurting, and there isn't a damn thing I can do to make it better. It's frustrating. These recent events make having lost my job on Friday seem insignificant. I feel guilty for even being worried about myself. I know that there are several people who would gladly trade positions with me, but I'm still freaked out by not knowing what is going to happen in the next few weeks. Usually I am able to let go, to let God take control of the chaos in my life, but this time I can't seem to relinquish control. I want answers. I know I won't get them.
So please, I can use your thoughts and prayers for the families I mentioned, and for me to let it go and find my faith again.
Even though it feels like the darkness of this tunnel is never ending, I have to believe that there will be light again. There is no making sense of losses like these. We just have to keep stepping forward a little at a time and hope for a miracle or two to find us.
ReplyDeleteAt least that is what I am telling myself.
You will be okay too Carly. I know that a job will find you and in the meantime, you have friends and family to lean on.
Oh Carly, I know how you feel. Everywhere around me there has been loss & suffering. And Alissa is right, there is really no making sense of it. It's just terrible.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can relate to feeling like my problems are so insignificant in comparison. Just before I got the call about the loss of my niece & nephew, I was sitting around complaining about how annoyed I was that my the closing of our house is taking so long. Now I just feel so silly stressing about that when there is so much worse happening to the people I love.
I don't have any answers for you. I wish I did. In times like this, the only thing that gets me through is holding strong to my faith. It's hard not to be angry with God, but instead I try to remember all of the blessings He has given me. (my husband, my family, my health, my son... etc). We all have so much to look forward to, and there is so much light at the end of the tunnel. We just need to continue to press forward.
Love you!
I don't know where to begin...last week was filled with loss for everyone that I know. Howard's grandpa passed away last week, and I know of two others who had miscarriages.
ReplyDeleteI am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your job. I am sure that something will turn up soon-you are one of the smartest cookies that I know!
All these loses remind me of my own, which I turn away. So I can understand your frustration with feeling helpless. We are helpers. We help people when we can, and when we cannot it tears us apart.
But we are all so incredibly lucky to have each other in our lives. No matter the distance, or time between visits. Because in the end, we have all shared so much with one another, and been through so much with each other.
Just remember that we all love you, and I am quit sure the feeling is mutual!
There has been so much sadness lately. I hope the holidays bring lots of time for rest and regrouping with family, and happy memories to be made.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and don't feel guilty for feeling a little negative about your own life. Let me know what you're looking for. I job search all the time so I'm happy to send a few links your way.