Pokes
How would you feel if your significant other was extremely close to someone of the opposite sex? And how would you react?
How would you feel if your significant other, turned fiancée, turned spouse was extremely uncomfortable with your friendship with someone of the opposite sex? How would you react?
How would you feel if your best friend of years and years suddenly started dating someone who flat out didn't like you (even though they hadn't met you) and asked that they no longer be friends with you? How would you react? I very much had a "who is this bitch? I was here first" attitude. I probably could have handled it better.
I had an idea that Dave and I would be friends until we were toothless and eating pudding in an old folks home. Our kids and grandkids would be best friends, and even our dogs would get along. What I didn't take into consideration is that someone might feel threatened by our closeness and that it could cause very serious arguments between them; to the point where my name is now a forbidden word. It's frustrating because the jealousy is unwarranted. We've never had a physical encounter or done anything inappropriate, there's no attraction between us, and we feel and act like brother and sister.
Dave is my best friend. I want his marriage to be successful and happy. I know I'm still his best friend. I know he misses me everyday too. I really want him to be a part of my life but I also don't want to be the target of someone else's insecurities.
I don't know if I should even respond to this, or just let it remain a part of my past and move on. Can you reach a limit with a best friend?
There really is no good advise, because everyone has a different "limit" ya know? I know how hard it is to let go of a dear friend because it just gets TOO much. Honestly, my advise is to leave it in the past. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you love someone, and how much you try - certain people are just toxic (and not on purpose) in our lives. Drama between friends really has no room in our lives once we're older. Life is too special and precious to be dealing with stuff like that. The idea is, that as we mature, so do our attitudes. Unfortunately, sometimes there is just too much friction and too much history and it gets in the way...and when that happens I think it's best to let go of those things.
ReplyDeleteBut with that said... that is only my opinion and of course, you need to do what is best for you!! I love ya!
Gosh, that is hard.
ReplyDeleteMy inclination would be to talk to him and see how things go. See if feelings have changed in regards to the spouce.
Maybe she is more confident in their relationship now and you can somehow find a friendship with them both. Maybe it will help that you are with Brady...
Maybe it just won't ever be the same again. But you don't know until you feel out the situation. Carefully.
If things still seem drama-filled, maybe it best to leave it alone.
Good luck!
WOW. I'm surprised at your 'POKE'!
ReplyDeleteI agree, this is a tough one. If I had to give you any advice I would say as hard as it is, leave it in the past. It seems that if you have tried this before and everyone involved got hurt, chances are that will happen again. But then again what the heck do I know? lol
ReplyDelete